Not Everyone Loves Ray Dalio

Dear Mr. Dalio,

Thank you for raysplaining the latest developments in China in your two recent posts on LinkedIn, here and here.

Since I’m an American, I obviously know nothing about China, have never been to China, don’t know anyone in China, don’t know anyone who is Chinese, don’t know anyone outside of China who is a China expert, don’t know any Mandarin, have never read a book about China, have never read any news or opinions about China, and can’t find China on a map — so your advice was most welcome.

I was worried because I followed your advice in 2019 and put 20% of my wealth in China stocks (15% “neutral weight” plus a 5% overweight) and saw they’d all dropped like a rock recently.  Some say that Xi Jinping is not just another consensus-building CCP bureaucrat but a second Mao who has eliminated all rivals to achieve absolute power himself.  But you always know how to sooth my silly jittery dim-witted obsessed-with-the-next-five-minutes nerves by explaining thoughtfully that anyone who disagrees with you is a dumbass who doesn’t know anyone important (like you) and anyway, YOU VISITED CHINA FIRST.  Thanks, that clears that up!  No wonder everything you say is lovingly repeated in Xinhua.

Ray, I’m especially pleased to learn that contrary to ignorant Western press reports (clearly they don’t have your contacts), Xi Jinping is a humanitarian who cares for nothing at all but the happiness and welfare of the Chinese people.  That will be welcome news to the dozens of Uighur women forced to remarry Han Chinese men chosen for them after their husbands were “disappeared”.  Having Confucian values taught by their Han replacement daddies should help Uighur children grow up to love their country and forget all about their religion, culture, language — and fathers!  I can see clearly now how Xi Jinping truly is the Philosopher King!

Ray, will you please contact the folks at Freedom House who in 2013 rated China as less free than 189 countries but freer than Iran, Cuba, and Laos — but in 2021 rate China as less free than 196 countries INCLUDING Laos, Cuba, and Iran.  Ray, this is not the “progress” you told us was happening!  Obviously their researchers didn’t start visiting China 36 years ago like you and so don’t have the slightest idea what they’re talking about.  Please explain the happy truth to them.

Btw, in one of your frequent conversations with kindly Uncle Xi, give my best wishes to the big guy and please please continue to apologize for the American people for being too stupid and badly informed to appreciate the CCP’s inherent superiority.  While you’ve got him, ask if he could please give us a hint as to which industry he plans to incinerate overnight for the good of the people next?  And, just curious, how much longer will the state be advancing and everyone else retreating in a blind panic?

Lastly, I have to say I’m really happy that you’re not one of those jerks who endlessly talk their own book without posting big flashing neon “I AM CONFLICTED” signs nearby.  I mean it would be kind of devious and sneaky and sleazy (and somewhat less than radically transparent) for someone to pontificate (ENDLESSLY) about China without saying that they have gazillions invested there.

Thanks again, Ray.  I look forward to reading your next bundle of omniscience which I’m told will be go on sale soon and be titled either, “I Bought China and So Should You!” or “Shut Up I’m Right”.

Yours Sincerely,

Guilo Joe

PS: Regarding the future of China over the next 25, 50, 100 years, I feel very confident of just two things:

1. I don’t have a clue what’s going to happen
2. Neither does Ray Dalio

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